A 6-month-ish hiatus
So… Here I am, in front of my computer trying to decide on what to write in this blogpost. 6 months is a long time and a lot happened, but at the same time, not so much.
I guess this blogpost will be sort of a “What happened?” I am organizing it as I’m writing, so please bear wiith me.
What happened - art-wise
I continued to create - though at a slower pace than usual - during these months. If I rewind a bit: after the summer months, I was full of inspiration. Until September, I continued creating on a daily basis (I think). I experimented with plein-air acrylics (I would like to go back to that and share that journey at some point !). I did my biggest watercolor to date, inspired by a beautiful waterfall I saw during a hike in July (see below). I also finished my 52-week challenge (it ended up being 49 because I forgot I needed to start at the very first page of the sketchbook… but whatever! And I’m currentnly uploading the final weeks into this website, hopefully I will manage to make also a blogpost about it).
September 2025. Watercolors on Winsor & Newton fine grain 300gsm paper (38,5x56cm) - Rocks and waterfall. Own reference.
However, after the summer bliss I hit a wall (creatively, and it also expanded to other aspects of my life). I did a slow and easy version of Inktober, following Ioana Pioaru challenge (same I planned to make a quick blogpost about it… but just in case, I will include a picture here). I tried to plan a new challenge to get back into watercolors and keep the momentum after my 52-week challenge (same… more about that later). But nothing really worked and for a few months I barely touched my art supplies. Sometimes I was drawing from a picture or from Pinterest on the couch during the evenings, but that was the maximum I could do. I completely stopped maintaining this website, my Youtube channel and also stopped posting on Instagram (I am talking in past tense, but as I am writing this blogpost I still haven’t started again the last two). When I was creating daily, I designed some systems to help me stay focused and know what were the ongoing projects / what I wanted to do next etc. I also completely stopped using these systems, that felt overwhelming, as I was seeing all my ideas and projects piling up and had no energy or creative juices to tackle even the smaller ones.
Inktober 2025 challenge from Ioana Pioaru (inks with waterbrushes & fountain pen).
Why did this happen?
I won’t get super personal here (or will I… I tend to overshare), but a few things that probably participated in me getting creatively depleted. There is no particular order or ranking. I just list small and big things, ideas and sensations.
I finished a very long challenge and busy creative period (in summer I paint a lot outside, while juggling social time with family & friends, and my job). The long challenge gave me a frame for creating weekly, but when it was done I needed some time before moving to the next one,. However, I did not manage this transition period well and could not maintain even a small creative habit.
I struggled to keep my creative energy up in the fall / winter time. I am often affected by seasonal changes, and this year it hit harder than usual. I love creating outside and being immersed in nature. Usually in the winter I enjjoy my studio time, but this year again I could not manage that transition and ended up feeling stuck and uninspired in the studio (despite the project ideas that were piling up - and I had even done some prep work for some of them to make it easier).
As I was “falling behind” everything became bigger. I was wondering if it was worth creating as I knew I could not make a video out of it (due to a lack of time and energy for that). The spiraling made it even harder to enjoy creating just for the sake of creating (which is why I create in the first place - this is not my job it is a pure hobby).
I started a second job in parallel to my job at the university. For those who don’t know, I am a researcher, but in October I also started working a few hours per week in a dance school. That meant a lot of changes: new rhythm (job is in the late afternoons & evenings), new people (trying to fit into a team of Austrian-speaking people), new skills (customers relationships, learning some new dances, making sure I knew the steps, etc.), new work environment, etc. I put a lot of pressure on myself (even though people are lovely) and was very afraid I would noot be good enough and not fit in.
I had to start leading a big research project (maybe not that big, but it is my first one). That meant coordinating a team, organizing meetings, pretending I knew what I was doing, making sure all the contracts were signed, etc. Spoiler alert: I really don’t enjoy doing that, I lost interest in the project and I am dreading the coming years (I stilll need to lead the project for the next 2 years, it is what is getting me paid, and I have no support from the university to do it). I am hoping once we get into the more fun part of the project (case studies, data collection etc.) it will get better.
I started having health issues (both physically annd mentally). Long story short, I discovered I was most probably neurodivergent (I am trying to get a more specific diagnosis, but my therapist leans towards AuDHD which is a combination of autism and ADHD, and from the digging I’ve done, it would explain a lot of difficulties I have faced my whole life) and hit a neurodivergent burnout. At the same time, a friend has been suspecting I had Ehler Danlos syndrom for a few years, and it became more obvious (and limiting) in the past months.
Overall… a lot of overstimulation and waaay too many things to manage and juggle at the same time (and I’m sparing you relationships dramas, Christmas stress, medical appointments in France - when I live in Austria -, basic life organization, political unrest, the world going crazy, and so much more).
What now?
So what am I doing now? I am slowly getting back into a creative mindset. Since January, I’ve manage to paint one thing per month (more or less). In March, I decided to try and do PleinAirpril again this year (for those who don’t know it, it’s a challenge in the artist community, to go and paint outside every day in April - a kickstarter to the plein-air season! I talk about my experience from last year in this blogpost if you are interested). I used March to prep, decide on my supplies, try to get inspired. Painting outside is still hard (the logistics, the decision-making, getting outside, finding a quiet place, etc.) but I can also see how beneficial it is for me to spend time observing nature. I’ve become a bit obsessed with nature journaling and I hope I can continue that even after PleinAirpril. I really missed it in the winter months and I find it therapeutic to make time for it again (even though there are days when it still feels impossible).
I am also getting back into some projects (and I have tons of ideas for new projects. Bascially I think I have enough to keep me occupied foor the next 10y or so…). I still struggle to find enough creative energy to reeally dive into projects, but I can plan them more, I managed to finish some that were “in progress” since August 2025, and I can start some smaller ones. I am now trying to get back into my watercolor challenge (you can see the first 2 paintings below). I have a new acrylic painting in preparation (like on hold, but it is on the easel so it counts). Since February, I’m creating a mini series on forests (that stemmed from the watercolor challenge - see below also). I am also getting back a bit into digital art, and lately I have been thinking a lot about science illustration for social sciences (I recently made a poster about one of my finished projects, that you can soon find on the website - hopefully). So yes, a lot in the pipes, but I’m trying to take it slow and respect better my needs (though I am still trying to understand those, let alone answer them).
And also… I’m getting back into this website! I am slowly updating the website, putting in the finished pieces, updating the ongoing (and finished) projects etc. It will take time to get to a place where I feel comfortable, but I’m taking it one step at the time. I have also decided to lower the pressure on SEO and making the website look perfect and professional. I know it will require a lot of time and energy to “fix it” if I want to get to this standard later, but right now, I just need a space to share my art, my thoughts about my journey and my process. I re-discovered some of my older blogposts and ideas, and it gave me so much inspiration. It is also super nice to see some of my older art pieces, and realize what I was able to create. I very much enjoy documenting my journey and I’m super happy to get back to it. I also like having a place to brain dump my ideas of projects, and see where I will go next! I have a lot of reorganization and updates planned, but like for the rest I don’t want to put stress or a schedule or high expectations on me. Hopefully you’ll stick around to see what comes next :)
