Relfections on the first half of 2025

This blogpost will defintely be more of a brain dump than a structured reflection. I will try to organize things but I just feel like I need to write down things to help me better understand what is going on in my head.

From Fall motivation to Spring frustration

Sticking to some planning and goals (and failing)

First, I am again in this time of the year when I cannot really follow a proper planning. I have the feeling that every Fall I try again to be consistent in making art, publishing on social media, making Youtube videos, updating my website, etc. And still, every Spring it all falls apart. I say “every” but it has only been 2 or 3 years. Still, it is a pattern that I am not able to break. Every time I try to change my approch (more structured planning, posting only every two weeks, goal-oriented projects, etc.) but nothing seems to change. This year I started to lose it end of March, when I was getting ready for PleinAirpril. I had videos planned by never got to the point of editing them (still have not - and I don’t feel very motivated to do it now, so many months later). I managed to stay consistent in PleinAirpril, but since then have struggled to get outside to paint again, and have sort of stopped every other things. Don’t get me wrong: I still paint and draw quite a lot, I have even finished a few sketchbooks. But I cannot really find the motivation to tackle bigger projects or get into a more structured creation mode. I doodle, I play with colors, I follow tutorials, but projects I had been consideriing for a few months are still… too dauntiing for me to try. This situation frustrates me, as I feel like I am wasting time and not engaging in the things I think I want (but at the same time, I don’t really want to do them right now… but perhaps if I tried, I would realize I do want to do them!).

Sort of linked to that first point, I feel unnaturally attracted to spending money on art-related things. From new plein air setups, to more paints / brushes, or even new classes. It excites me, and yet I also feel guilty for spending money on things that maybe I won’t really like / use, and that will not bring any revenues back. It is sort of irrational, but I am still battling against this way of thinking. The factr that I struggle to get into a consistent creation mode does not help, as it just fuels this “I will not use this, I should not buy it” mode while also playing on the “maybe if I get this I will find motivation to do XXX”.

Continuing on the current difficulties, it is also a time of year where I feel a bit lost with my art goals, as I am always under the impression that I will not make it. Make what, you may ask? Well, I don’t really know. As mentionned earlier, I try to share my art on social media, to reach out to brands, and I have even exhibited some paintings in my local dance class. None of thiis have made any perceptible difference. I have not gained followers or a community of people to exchange on art, I have not created partnerships with other small creators or brands, I never got a commission and never sold a painting. Those are not necesarily life goals for me, but still I have the feeling I am putting a lot of energy in things that are frustrating instead of fulfilling, and at the same time, I struggle to stop… I would like to reach more people with art, because I find it nice to have people with whom to exchange, learn and maybe even teach or sell things. Still, I am not sure what would be the right route to do that. I sometimes find it fun to edit a Youtube video or write a blogpost or update the website, more most time than non, it is very time-consumig, the process is not that smooth and all for a not-so-great result. Same with the bigger series of paintings or longer challenges. I do get something out of it, but perhaps not as much as what I pour into it… 

Refocusing on the wins and going with the current flow

The good things! Because there are quitet few of those. I am still super motivated to create art and I feel like my skills are mostly improving. I have many projects (though I struggle to tackle them right now). I want to do more short series as study sessions, to get back to acrylic painting, to continue working on portraits and self-portraits, to do more plein-air and continue improve my setup, etc. During this first half-year, I have done a lot or paintings and experimentations in my sketchbooks, finished some nice challenges, studied some new techniques, dabbled in abstract art, etc. I love my art supplies (the old and the new), I have so many nice sketchbooks and papers and brushes. I love my art corner and I feel more and more comfortable painting outside. Lots of things are great! I’m so happy when looking through my sketchbooks!

What next? I think I need to focus more on what I want to do and brings me joy. I will probably try to be more consistent with this website, as it is a very nice way to document the journey and showcase some of my art. I also mostly enjoy writing and sharing through words (when I remember to do so). The bad part is to make sure everything is properly done (put the watermark on the photos, Glaze them, check the description, etc.). I will probably slow down on Youtube, as I don’t really know what I want to show there and it is for now more pressure than fun. Perhaps I will come back to it again in October? I will certainly continue using Instagram from time to time. I will more and more try to find local connections (though this is a very hard part for me) to hopefully show my art. I am still wondering if I should have prints made of some of my work. I started studying thre options a few months ago, but I am a bit afraid it would be too expensive and I won’t be able to sell anything… Overall I will continue creating, but I am very unsure on the path to take to reach people and find a nice community I feel comfortable with, and that could in a few years support me - at least partly - in my art explorations. I had explored posting classes on Skillshare, so maybe the energy I take out of editing Youtube videos could be used for Skillshare instead. But again, it is a very heavy process which does not come naturally to me… I am also considering the art communities I want to get more involved in… For instance, I discovered this year Deep Deep Light, which is a very inspiring community of artists and paintmakers. I am thinking about how I can engage and support such people, in a meaningful way, that also supports my way of living.

The place of art and other reflections

I am also having lots of thoughts on the place of art in the world and how to make art more meaningful. I have been considering finding ways to find some intersections between my work and art, like through scientific illustrations or sketchnoting, but I still need to explore all of that, and improve my skills. I am also thinking about sustainable art. I have been slowly changing my process to ensure that I do not pollute waters with my dirty paint water, and avoid buying toxic pigmnnts as I am still unsure how to dispose of the wastes from painting with them. Apart from that, there are two complex subjects that I am thinking about right now.

Art and sustainable travel

I have a job that requires me to travel sometimes, and I try to find sustainable options to do so. I also love exploring new places and want to get more and more comfortable with travelling by train and bus, even alone, in Europe. I feel so lucky to have access to so many places and I really want to explore Europe more. I keep thinking that journaling and creating art are really nice ways to document such travels and convey how nice slow-travel and long train journeys can be. I usually do some plein-air sessions when I travel, but do not document so much the whole travel and journey. This is something I would like to get better at doing, and perhaps by sharing this on Instagram I can inspire other people, who have the time and resources to do so, to try slow-travel! For now I am unsure of the format this could take but it is definietely some long-term project that I am keeping in mind for the coming years.

The transcendance of art

I am a researcher, and look in particular at collective action to tackle climate change. More and more I think art could play a part in this. I know that there are already collectives dancing for climate, visual exhibitions on climate change and may intersting initiaitves. I also think that art has the power to trigger collective action, as it can unite people through emotions and transcend so many differences. I would love to integrate more creativity in my research and participate in bridging art with other parts of society. Perhaps, art is the trigger we need to take action, it is how we will spread hope and is part of how we can build together a better world for the future. Again, I do not know what form this can take, but I do hope the opportunity will present itself and I can explore this subject more!